My mom has always encouraged me to keep a diary. Off and on, I have, in some form or another. For awhile as a kid, I kept a locked journal, wrote embarrassing confessions at night and then hid the book between my mattress and box spring.
Growing up, I had several pen pals, and I saved every letter. And in the early days of e-mail, I never deleted a message, creating a record of my 20s that I believed I would some day want to reread.
And now I have this blog. The entries aren't secret, or even private anymore, proving how times have changed.
I wonder what my grandmother, MeMe, who died in May, would say about those changes. She would have been 100 years old tomorrow, July 31, 2009. I expect it could be a hard day for my mother, who had hoped to attend a birthday party this week in Ohio.
I don't know if my mom will read this, but I am taking her advice to write things down, to not let myself forget things that I loved about MeMe. I asked my siblings, too, to give me their lists, and it's funny the things we remember in common.
We all three think of MeMe and Twinkies together. My mother wouldn't let us eat them, so whenever MeMe came to visit, she would buy them for us. When she died, I bought a box, ate one, and balked at the greasiness, the chewiness, the almost metallic taste. What was so great about Twinkies? Must only have been that MeMe gave them to us.
Pat and Kim remember MeMe helping them buy things my mother wouldn't: Patrick's first Members Only jacket and Kim's jelly shoes. (Not so trendy, my mother ....)
We all remember MeMe and Pop taking us to McDonald's, and Patrick remembers always stopping for Wendy's chili beforehand. That's what Pop ate.
More food ... When MeMe and Pop lived in the apartment on Tamarack Circle, there was a Dairy Queen in the middle of the circle. We would walk there and get Dilly Bars.
MeMe was known for her awesome macaroni and cheese. (Recipe below)
She was 90 when Thomas and I got married in San Diego, and she came to our wedding. She was not just a guest. She worked! We had a fantastic beach barbecue and bonfire the night before the big day, and she helped cut gobs of vegetables for kabobs. Then she put on her white Keds and walked down the ramp to the sand north of the Pacific Beach pier.
The following summer, she came to my sister's wedding in Stockton and helped prepare the reception spread. And the next year, she was back in San Diego, at 92, for my brother's wedding. As we had for my wedding, we rented a house for the family in Mission Beach, and she again slept on the bottom bunk.
She drove a blue Buick with her initials, MAS, on a personalized plate. Martha Adaline Smith turned in her driver's license when she turned 95.
She got her hair done once a week, and didn't wash it in between. I never understood how she kept it so tidy. My sister remembers MeMe taking her to get a spiral perm. "We were all about the hair," Kim says.
MeMe never complained. Even when she was sitting outside on a rickety lawn chair in February at an age-group swim meet in foggy Fowler or soggy Selma, watching her grandchildren swim for maybe 30 seconds every three hours. That is love.
MeMe's purse smelled like spearmint Certs and Doublemint gum. She chewed half a piece at a time.
MeMe lived with my Aunt Marsha, Uncle Cecil and cousin Scott for more than 20 years. She moved to a nursing home two or three years ago. I was lucky to visit her there twice, and to bring Blake to meet her. He loved her wheelchair and was strong enough to push it a bit. After one visit, MeMe asked my mother over the phone, "How is that little butterball?"
The little butterball ate a Twinkie with me in May. I told him about how MeMe used to buy them for me, Uncle Pat and Aunt Kim, and he listened like he cared. I hope he did.
And that's the other reason for writing all this down. I want Blake and Dylan to know about their great-grandmother and know that she loved them, even though they won't remember her. As for myself, I plan to never forget.
MeMe's macaroni and cheese
You need: 1 pound sharp cheddar and
1 pound of "good quality" macaroni (Don't use the cheap stuff, says Uncle Dick. I thought all macaroni was cheap ...)
Salt and pepper
Cook macaroni to desired tenderness in salted water.
Save the cooking water when you drain it.
Leave a quarter to a half-an-inch of water in the bottom of cooking pan.
Cut cheese into chunks.
Return macaroni to pan, add cheese and melt cheese over burner.
Add back cooking water as cheese melts if it looks dry. You want it to be more moist than you think it should be.
Transfer to baking dish. Salt and pepper top. MeMe's had a lot of pepper.
Cook at 350 degrees for 45 minutes or until it looks done.
