"Hugs are for friends. Kisses are for family."
I learned this today from Ally's mom. Ally, 4-ish, her sister, 6-ish, and her mother, biddy-ish, were at Barnes & Noble. So were Blake, Dylan and I, in what was perhaps one of my biggest lapses in judgement in, well, a couple of days. We were there to buy gifts for the neighbor boys, twins turning 3 tomorrow. I just found out about the birthday yesterday, and I've become friendly with their mother, so I needed to brave the outside world and go shopping today.
Ally found Blake irresistible. Blake found these things irresistible: Curious George dolls, kitchen play sets, children's Bibles, My Little Pony stickers, Little Mermaid stamps, Star Wars books, and two stuffed deer.
Dylan found the timing irresistible for a full-on scream fest. He'd been this way all morning with agonizing reflux. We had started getting ready to leave the house three hours before we finally did. I should have realized that once he stopped crying, it would be time for him to eat again. Instead, once he stopped crying, at nearly lunchtime, I gave Blake a banana and said, "Let's go!"
Dylan was smelly and soaked with spit-up, and my shirt was damp and stained, but Blake looked good, so ...
"He's very cute," Ally said, holding Blake's hand after he stood very still for another kiss.
"Thank you," I told her. "You're a nice little girl." Then, (over Dylan's screams from the sling, which usually has a narcotic effect, but no luck today), "Blake, please help me stack these pink glittery things you have messed up.
"Blake, let's go pick up the George dolls and find the diaper bag.
"Blake, I didn't know you liked Star Wars. Leave those alone and let's pick up our mess...."
You might get the idea. I was one of those mothers with a shrieking newborn and a wild toddler, both in need of lunch and a nap. As I think about it, tho, I don't think I've ever witnessed such a scene in real life. Only in movies or on bad TV.
In real life, you might expect someone to say, "I'll help you. Let me re-stack that My Little Pony crap. You go tackle Curious George. Today, that person could have been Ally's mom. Hey, if Ally had had her way, we would have been in-laws! But no, the woman did her best to not acknowledge me, or my "very cute" son. She only calmly informed Ally that "hugs are for friends, kisses are for family" in a tone that let me know she considered us to be neither. Whose kid was she worried about? If I find out Blake has some disease from Ally kisses, I will doubly hate this woman.
So ... Next time you see some poor, pathetic woman trying to not leave a disaster behind her at the store, if you have a free minute, at least offer to help. If you're reading this in West Hartford, I can tell you in advance that I will really appreciate the help!
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